Ep. 61: Get Out of Your Own Way by Believing in Yourself (Guest Kerry Tepedino)

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In this episode, we discuss having a healthy alignment between our physical, emotional and mental state, so that we can live a happier, more productive and rewarding life as an entrepreneur. If we can get out of our own way by believing in ourselves, we can achieve anything. To discuss this topic, we are joined by Kerry Tepedino who is a transformation trainer and speaker. Kerry is on a quest to support women as they challenge their self-defeating behaviors and overcome past traumas and fears. Kerry specializes in a variety of areas including mindset mastery, leadership, creating sustainable results, and the body-mind connection.

As entrepreneurs, we are often under a lot of stress. We are dedicated to our business, but sometimes we put limitations on ourselves, which hold us back from our true potential. We can get bogged down by our emotions and negative self-talk. Being in a state of negativity and self-doubt, makes it more difficult to live a balanced, healthy life. In this discussion you will gain inspiration on how to transform yourself from self-sabotage, to the confident person you deserve to be.

Note to Listeners of the Podcast

If you’ve been a listener of the podcast over the past year or so, then you know the overarching focus has changed, since last season. It’s geared more towards female entrepreneurs who are trying to juggle all the things and run a profitable business. Regardless of your gender, it is my mission to provide you with topics and advice, which are supportive, educational and fun. No matter which gender type you identify with, keep listening. All are welcome. Putting women as the focus this season, is not meant to be exclusive or divisive, but to give the female voice another opportunity to be at the forefront.

From the Episode:

Heather: “Kerry Tepedino welcome to Get the Balance Right podcast.”

Kerry: “Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. We're going to have so much fun.”

Heather: “You have an interesting story. Unfortunately, what happened is a very common thing with many women.”

Kerry: “Unfortunately yeah, and it's a great place to start. So thank you for asking like many women, I had a challenging chapter of my life and many of our friends who are here with us today could be in this place where I just didn't really believe in myself. My confidence was lacking. My self esteem was lacking for me.

It showed up in a way. I abused food. I was an emotional eater. I was a stress eater. I was a board neater. I was a fatigue eater. I was just an eater. And it led to an eating disorder, which many women do battle. I was about 50 pounds, heavier then what was healthy for me but it wasn't really about the weight and it wasn't about the eating disorder. Although I didn't know it at the time I thought it was about the weight. But then as I started to uncover why I was in that situation, I started to realize the weight and the eating disorder.

Symptoms to something deeper going on, which was my lack of emotional mastery skills. I didn't know how to deal with my stress. I didn't know how to manage my mindset. For me, it took its toll on me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The more obvious way it took a toll was if you were to look at me, from the outside, it was in regards to my physical health, but it was really just a symptom to something deeper going.”

Heather: ”You said you had an eating disorder. Was that bulimia that you were struggling with?”

Kerry: “I dabbled in all of it, let me actually give you a story because I think that will help a lot Especially a lot of this audience, which is women who are entrepreneurs or during their working space.

It was before I had this business, I've had this business about 20 years at this point, but it was before that and I was a graphic designer for a software company. Just back from the peace Corps, moved to Southern California, I have a BA in visual communication. So I actually did get a job in my industry and I was just really stressed. I had a big deadline at work. I'm sure a lot of our friends can understand and had a big delivery the next day. And I was stressed that I was going to be embarrassed. What will my boss think? What will my peers think I remember driving home that night I was saved by, so my hands were on the wheel and I'm like, don't stop at the store. Kerry. Don't stop at the store Kerry, I'm like trying to convince myself not to stop at the store because that was my pattern. Stop at the store, buy a bunch of comfort foods, Binge. Attempt to purge, which never really works and feel like hell, and feel worse the next day. I get to my neighborhood and where do I find myself, Heather at the store. I say to myself this time it's going to be different I'm walking up and down the aisle. I have my cart and I'm putting, all my comfort foods in my cart.

And I'm saying this time, it's going to be different this time it's going to take me two weeks to eat all this food. Like any quote, unquote normal person. I paid for the food. I get home. I'm putting groceries away and I get to the peanut butter. At this time I am truly hungry because it's late.

I haven't eaten I and screw that blue lid. And I peel back that silver foil and I'm just going to take one bite and that spoon goes in and it goes in again and it goes in again. And as soon as my spoon hits the bottom of that jar. My heart breaks because once again, I broken trust in myself for me at the time I was bulimic.

And I remember taking the long walk down my hall, my feet, going into the plush carpet. As I walked down to my hall and trying to purge it up it never really works. It works kinda, as I'm sitting on my bathroom, cold white tile, bathroom floor curled up crying. I got really scared that night because . I noticed something different and it was that my heart was racing and I knew enough about health to know that my electrolytes are imbalanced, which was causing cardiovascular issue. Like I knew that's when it was happening. And one of my best girlfriends from college, her mom had died of an eating disorder cause their organs failed.

So I had this like direct personal experience of, oh my gosh, I'm slowly killing myself. Boom. It was that night that it really hit me right before then it didn't hit me the same way. And as I was lying there on my bathroom floor, I knew I had a decision to make keep doing what you're doing, Kerry it's your choice.

And you will literally kill yourself or pick yourself up, figure this out. Get your life on track. Thank God. Something in me was strong enough, which probably was God was strong enough to help me pick myself up. It catapulted me into many years of journey of self healing and I traveled the world.

I studied with monks. I went to India. I stayed with an Indian doctor who. For like 12 hours a day. He taught me everything about ayurveda which is this ancient wisdom of healing. then in Southern California, got my licensing for a holistic health practitioner, a certified counselor nutrition and a cranial sacral therapist, which is trauma resolution.

I say that my business literally birthed itself, which I think it really did because my passion of healing myself and then just sharing it with other people is what then built the business it's been 20 years now. We've helped thousands of women. It's, extraordinary to see what women do when they have the right strategies in the right order and the right people around them. When we allow ourselves to be human. It's really extraordinary what can happen.”

Heather: “There's a lot of great things in there. And thank you so much for sharing that intimate story. I think a lot of people can relate to it. Not only from the fact that a lot of our listeners are actually women who work in that creative field that you mentioned. but also I think a lot of people have family members that have eating disorders.

I think that story is something that people can relate to for sure. You had this epiphany at that moment, when you were in the bathroom, women that are struggling with their businesses, they might not even know why they're struggling with it. And it could be some sort of mindset issue. How do people tap into this and figure out that there's something that is actually holding them back, that maybe something from their past.”

Kerry: “Let me say this. It's always starting in their mindset. So for all of our friends, right now looked around less, you're driving be safe. You don't need to look around, but look around even the room that we're sitting in, you're sitting in right now, every result that you have in this room and your environments first started in your thinking, even looking down at your body, The result of your body, your physical health for started in your thinking, look at your bank account.

If you're an entrepreneur, the state of your business, if you're an employee, are you getting promoted? Are you getting bypassed? Are you getting passed up for promotions? It's all starting in the way that we're thinking. We go really big on you're one thought away.

You're one thought away from being healthy today or not. You're one thought away from going and eating I'm bingeing on all that sugar or not one thought away from speaking up confidently at that business meeting today or not, you're one thought away from enrolling that new client or account or not right.

It's all starting and what we believe is possible for us. It might not being an eating disorder. It could be something else there's we all have advice and at least until we're aware of it, but for me, it was eating, but it could be drinking. It could be recreation or medicated drugs. It could be now, see, this wasn't an issue when I was going through this, but social media is a vice.

Checking out and escaping, checking out, escaping or numbing out to social media or any other vice, gambling, sex, whatever it is, cigarettes, it's just a way to not be present. Women in the workforce, entrepreneur or corporate, whatever you're doing we are going to experience some level of stress.

Now here's the thing I don't believe stress is bad. I believe that stress pushes us outside of our comfort zone so that we stretch and grow. It's good. I think there's a tipping point that happens. And that's different for every person, what that tipping point is. But that tipping point is when it becomes something that's unmanageable for you.

That's when it's become too much that's when I see that there's a golden opportunity for growth. To see that whatever is making you uncomfortable doesn't have to be acquainted to pain, but can be acquainted to opportunity.

And that's a different perspective, For our friends who are here with us today, a lot of the time, we don't even understand that it's first starting in how we think we don't understand that it's a mindset thing many of us have been conditioned to think a certain way from our childhood.

I say between two and eight years old, we have witnessed life experiences or had life experiences done to us. And we've created ideas about who we are and what we're capable of. Those ideas may have served us up to a point. So If they're not serving us, let's bless him and let them go we don't have to like condemn ourselves or condemn them or pack our bags and live there, or I think, oh my gosh, I wasted decades of my life. No, it helped you become the woman that you are today then now that we see that it's not serving us, let's bless it and let it go. And let's look at the gap.

Like, where are you today and where do you want to be? And let's close that gap by skilling you up so that you can have clarity on what do I want to create from here and how am I going to make that happen? And that's where we like to focus.”

Heather: “A lot of it seems like it is breaking habits. Probably habits that have been going on for years breaking through those. when you mentioned the thing about childhood, I've actually just recently tapped into something this whole imposter syndrome, people suffer from imposter syndrome probably can come from many different places, but I figured it out that mine comes from me being the baby of my family. And because I'm always the baby, it's oh, I'm not good enough to do these things. I've been trying to bless and release that one.”

Kerry: “Good. I'm the baby too. , so what you can do though, is raise your awareness around it, which it sounds like it's been happening recently. Until we raise our awareness about something, we can't change. We can't shift it. Now that you have this awareness, you also look for, okay, where have I allowed this to show up?

Where did I recreate this? And I recreate it in my job. So I recreated in my relationships. Wherever in your life, through those different life experiences and what do I want to create now? Who are the people. and what are the skills and you might not know a lot of people when you get to this point, they don't know who they need around them.

And they don't know the skills that they're missing. Like oftentimes we don't know what we don't know. which is great, why we're having this conversation today and all of our friends are here listening to this. There are no mistakes as to why you guys happen to be Listening to this podcast, there are no mistakes.

So of, you've had a prayer in your heart, this is being answered. If you've been asking for a solution, this is the solution. I truly believe that. Anybody who listens to this is listening to this for a reason. There's a nugget here. And I also believe that we call it in when we're ready.

So anybody who's listening this is your, cue. This is that prayer that you've been looking for. It's time it's now time, or you wouldn't be here listening to this conversation. You wouldn't have called us in.”

Heather: “I love that. A lot of the women in the audience are not only entrepreneurs, but this might be their first time being an entrepreneur. And it's a scary thing. And right now with COVID, a lot of women have lost their jobs and there've been almost forced into being an entrepreneur because they can't find a job because of their age.

And unfortunately, that's just the reality that happens. These women are. Feeling rejected because they couldn't get a job and they're highly qualified. Now . They're starting their own business, which can be very scary. These women are. going to have a lot of confidence issues, imposter syndrome.

I'm not worthy all of these different things that we tell ourselves as negativity. How do we break free from this? Where do we even start?”

Kerry: “I have a very different idea about age. I'm nearly 50, I'm 48. My just had babies, but I just literally birth to twins. They're not even six months old. I think there's six months this week. and I had my first son at 42. So this is what I truly believe about age. You do this personal development work, which is I believe the most important work we could ever do.

The greatest return on investment is do your personal development work because no matter if you have the best business strategy, relationship strategy, health strategy, as soon as stress happens, if you haven't done your personal development work, you'll probably procrastinate or become a perfectionist or negative self-talk yourself out of results or overindulge yourself out of results.

Like you'll get in your own way. So your personal development work in collaboration with your business coaching or your marriage coaching or whatever it is. That's the key. But , even this personal development work, I feel like reverse my aging. I feel and look better than I did in my twenties for sure.

I had a lot of people say well, Kerry, you can't reach that dream. You can't have those babies or you're getting too old. If there's a dream in your heart or a desire in your heart, you can make it happen. I don't care what your age is. I really believe for any quote - unquote problem.

There is on this planet, there's at least three solutions. And thinking outside the box okay well, where do I go from here? And it's about getting creative and thinking in ways that you haven't thought before. With that being said, let me speak specifically into COVID and maybe getting pushed into starting your own business.

Being an entrepreneur, I find it is a great spiritual journey. Because it's going to push you into places. It's going to be uncomfortable, but it doesn't mean that something's wrong just because something's uncomfortable. Doesn't mean that something's wrong. So whether you have the imposter syndrome, which by the way, pretty much everybody has in the beginning until you start getting client testimonials and you start getting feedback around. Thank you so much to help me. The more you get that feedback, the more you believe in yourself, oh, this is working. Oh, I do have value to give, oh, I am making a difference. What I would say to all of our friends who are.

Getting thrown into the entrepreneurial space, get clear on your gifts and talents, get clear on what you want to create, and then go start creating and providing value to people because the faster you get the feedback that your work is extraordinary, the imposter syndrome goes away. The other thing that I will say is, it's hard to do it alone, right?

Like a lot of women, what they do is what we call lone Wolf. Oh, I'm not going to share what I'm going through. I'm going to figure it out on my own or I'm going to push through. And they were this big "S" for super women on their chest. What that usually does is it creates a lot of heartache and.

Stress, and it can waste a lot of time and money and effort energy. Instead of trying to figure it all out on your own . It's really finding people who have created results that you want to create.

Might not be the same industry but they've done the personal development work and they've become masterful of themselves you can replicate that. And many people who are very successful are happy to share so with that being said, the other thing that I want to say, and then we can move on.

It's easy to think. There's not a lot of work out there, but actually there's a ton. And I would say historically now more than ever, there is more work online, more than ever. Amazon is hiring. All those big companies that are having to do more fulfillment and manufacturing online, because nobody goes to grocery stores anymore , like I don't go to grocery stores anymore.

I shop online because I was pregnant. I was forced to during COVID. I wasn't going to go to a store and like, there's so much work online just about getting creative to find it. Because of the pandemic, I think a lot of people have realized they want to live at a different pace.

I think that's great. It's very European of us Americans who aren't used to it. And I think it's healthy. Let me say this. Even if you're wanting to live and work at a different pace, it doesn't mean you can't be highly effective and productive.

, again, it's about self-mastery to really up leveling your energy management and your time management. , like a lot of people right now are in a summer vibe, right? Everybody's oh my God, I can actually leave my house and see friends. Do that because that's healthy.

That gives you a well-rounded. And then at the same time, really up level, your time and management skills, because you can still run or a launch that five or six or seven or eight figure business, or be a great employee and still have a full life. It is possible if you think it is possible, if you think it's not possible, you're right.

It's not possible. Does that make sense?”

Heather: “Yeah, totally. It's like that quote by a Ford. I can't quite remember the exact words, but I'll put it in the show notes. (note: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right.” - Henry Ford) A couple of things. One is, my mom had me when she was 42. So that's a great time to have a kid.

We were talking about how we shouldn't do it alone. I know that having an accountability partner is always great for these things, but also working with a coach. Tell us about how people can work with you. I know you have group coaching, it looks like you have an event coming up.”

Kerry: “Thank you. I appreciate that. So we have been supporting groups of women. We do group coaching and within the group coaching, you get one-on-one coaching as well with a performance coach. It's really great. , but we've been helping thousands of women for many years.

We're not throwing spaghetti on the wall and hoping the strategies work like this is a proven system. We have taken women. Of all ages, 21 being our youngest 81 being our oldest, but we have taken women that are in different seasons of their lives. All ages, all shapes, all economic status.

Really, it's not about that. It's about your willingness to transform your life You know that you're somebody that would be a great fit for our tribe. If you are a woman who is ready to let go of overwhelm like a perfectionism, if you are a woman who is ready to let go of, what's not working for you in your life, and you might not know how to do this yet.

That's okay. Just be willing to be coachable; to ask for support and let us support you. We will give you the strategies. One of the things that we really love is training the women who work with us so that they then have the skills to shift the trajectory of their lives forever.

We don't want a magic pill or a one-off result where you feel better for a week. Like we're really standing for women to know how to create the life that they want, the big dream life. We've had women who have come in and done this work and they've doubled their incomes. They've launched businesses when they didn't feel confident enough to do so. we have women who have been in the employment space and retired and then started coaching businesses in their seventies.

It's amazing what they've created and they've created that because they've learned from acquiring the skills and having the accountability and having the mentorship and having the tribe they've learned. I can do anything. I actually can do this. I'm not too old. I'm not too unhealthy. I'm not too poor.

I am like I am already enough and now I'm going to skill myself up to the next level and I'm going to create that big dream life. Yeah, we would love to support and talk to any of the women in your community and the believe event is coming up. So the believe event is the end of September 24th, 25th, 26th. It's our sixth annual. We've done this many times. We put thousands of women. Thousands of women have come to us and they say there's life before the believe event. And then there's life after the believe event, which is really cool. First time ever, it's going to be virtual, but it's not an online event.

It's an experience like we're doing things that I have never seen anything. Online event ever do yet. It is going to be an experience. It's going to be fun. It's going to be transformative. It's the best girls' weekend out there for sure. The best girls' weekend out there.”

Heather: “Awesome. I'll have links to all of that in the show notes. This is really fabulous. And I have been a fan of clubhouse now for probably, I don't know, several months now. And I noticed that you're on Clubhouse as well. So do you do moderation on Clubhouse or tell us about that?”

Kerry: “You're the first person who's asked me that it's on a podcast because clubhouse is new, I just recently jumped on. I have friends who have been really. Religious about showing up consistently a lot. They've asked me to come on and moderate with them, which is great; pretty big names out there. We're going to be more visible, more active there. So definitely. Join me over at clubhouse. We're going to start to host topics around self mastery, mindset, mastery, emotional mastery, how that impacts your business. But how it impacts your life, which we want our friends who are here to have a well-rounded life.”

Heather: “Exactly. Besides clubhouse, where else can people find you on the socials? If they want to follow up with you?”

Kerry: “Instagram and Facebook is where I'm most active, but going more into LinkedIn as well. So please just connect with me for sure.”

Heather: “Thank you so much. This has been great.”

Kerry: “Thank you. I've been having so much fun Heather when you're doing in the world is awesome. And for all of your listeners here, keep with Heather. She's amazing. the work she's doing is great. And I'm so excited that we got to collaborate.”